Personal Heroes-Freberg

Stan Freberg

I’ve seen Stan Freberg speak twice, and both times it was very clear that if there’s one thing Freberg loves to talk about it's himself (this coming, of course, from a guy with a blog!). But then, Freberg has the sort of facile mind and forceful personality that any story he tells—if it is to have a snappy conclusion—has to involve himself and some interaction with a lesser light.

You may know him as that slightly sarcastic voice that hosts “When Radio Was…” if you’re into late-night radio or old radio shows (and yes, Freberg’s voice has always had that “edge”). It’s perfectly appropriate that Freberg does that job, as he had one of the last scripted radio programs that harkened back to the Golden Age of Radio back in the 1950's. The fact that it lasted only 15 weeks and ran afoul of CBS censors is a testament to Freberg bridging the gap between the GAofR and the turbulent 60’s.

He started out as a voice-actor doing recreations of FDR speeches when no audio was available, did lots of radio voice-work, some cartoons (most notably Baby Bear in Chuck Jones’ Bear Family cartoons, the voice of Claude the Cat, and the truly bizarre voice of a character called Peter Puma), then comedy records (like “John and Marsha,” in which he played both parts, “St. George and the Dragonet,” and “Green Chri$tmas”-a controversial piece on the over-commercialization of the holiday). Ironically, he then went into commercials, where he did ground-breaking work for Chun King, Jeno’s Pizza, Sunsweet, and Campbell’s Soups. He also did some work for the Radio Advertising Bureau, for which he wrote “Stretching the Imagination,” which is forever used as an example of “Theater of the Mind.” It’s also one of the funniest, spot-on homages to the power of sound that has ever been conceived by man (or woman), Here’s the script (not a wasted word, either!)

Stretching the Imagination

Man #1: Radio! Why should I advertise on radio? There's nothing to look at...no pictures!

Man #2: Listen, you can do things on radio you couldn't possibly do on TV.

Man #1: That'll be the day!

Man #2: Alright, watch this (clears throat) OK, people! Now when I give you the cue, I want the 700 ft. mountain of whipped cream to roll into Lake Michigan which has been drained and filled with hot chocolate. Then the Royal Canadian Air Force will fly overhead towing a ten-ton maraschino cherry, which will be dropped into the whipped cream to the cheers of 25,000 cheering extras. Alright? Cue the mountain!

Mountain moans and groans and splashes into hot chocolate

Man #2: Cue the Air Force!

Planes fly overhead

Man #2: Cue the maraschino cherry!

Maraschino cherry whistles down and plops into whipped cream

Man #2: Okay, 25,000 cheering extras!

Huge cheer rises up and cuts off

Man #2: Now, you wanna try that on television?

Man #1: Welllll...

Man #2: You see, radio is a very special medium because it stretches the imagination.

Man #1: Doesn't television stretch the imagination?

Man #2: Up to 27 inches, yes.

Freberg will still do an occasional comedy album (when they allow him).* His radio and comedy work is rarely out of print. There’s the occasional NPR commentary even more rarely. You can find an archive of his weekly commentary show among the links below. Mostly he’s doing voice-work and public speaking.

He just turned 80.

Mike Van Ackeren (RIP) told me once of seeing Freberg at the check-out of an L.A. grocery store. He had a big pile of groceries, and a limited amount of cash. When the total was rung up, he was short, so he turned it into a comedy piece. He’d take out one thing, ask for a total, and again, he’d be short. He’d take, again, only one item. Total? Nope. Like an ersatz janga puzzle, he’d take out some miniscule item to try to eke it out to the largest amount he could get away with. Mike expressed awe at how hilarious the scene was, and how precise Freberg’s sense of timing was—little hesitations, weighted pauses, a bit of bluster here and there. He acknowledged that, though it was funny in the observing, it probably wasn’t for the cashier, or the folks behind him in line. But the rapt way it was described to me remains in my mind, even though the details haven’t.

Below is a video of my favorite Freberg commercial—for Jeno’s pizza rolls—even though, one has to admit, it was very much of its time. It was, in fact, a response to another advertiser’s commercial. Fortunately, through the magic of YouTube, I can show you the original (which now that I look at it, after years of doing advertising, is as phony as a $3 bill—or a $7 pack of smokes), and Freberg’s caustic response with its perfect zinger of a pay-off.

Lark Cigarettes-"Show us your Larks!" *****



Jeno's Pizza Rolls-"Show us your Pizza Rolls!"




Unofficial Official Site
Stan Freberg at IMDB
Stan Freberg at Wikipedia
Stan Freberg in the Radio Hall of Fame
"Stan Freberg Here" Archive
Time Magazine article: "Stan the Man"

* Here's a place to write to Rhino Records to convince them to finance the third "History of America" album.

** SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.

***Now, here's MY Warning: Don't Smoke! If you do already, Stop! If you don't smoke, Don't Start. Those aren't cigarettes, those are Nails In Your Coffin. Now, take a deep breath. Hold it. Release. You can't do that with emphysema. Not even when you're hooked up to an oxygen tent, hacking up black bile from your chest. Breathing keeps you alive. It's one of your brain's autonomic functions. Don't screw it up by making it difficult. Or impossible. Don't smoke: Stop! or Don't start.