Random Brain-Rattlers...And a Moment of Silence
And now, a collection of brain-rattlers and head-scratchers to be followed by an emotional kick in the teeth:
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1. Initiative 597. FarmerScott told me about this one and the way he said it, it sounded like some "Focus on the Family" off-shoot was trying to make the State enforce a "Go Ye Forth and Multiply" mandate.
Which I thought was stupid. No, make that "stoopid."
Then I find out it's actually some gay-rights group that, annoyed with a local court's ruling that struck down a gay-marriage statute because "the State has an interest in unions that result in procreation," (which sounds creepy to me...), decided to see if they could get a resolution passed that says in order to marry you have to prove you can reproduce (at will, I suppose) and if you don't produce progeny within three years, then your marriage will be annulled.
Such an initiative is, of course, absurd. And probably unenforceable.
And...more than a little stupid.
Why? Because if The State is so damned interested in procreation where is The State's incentive for having children? The nation has a tax-credit for successful cross-pollinization, but The State does not. No, The State has no interest in whether you have kids or not, so what is their REAL reason for banning gay-marriage? Really. I'd like to see this initiative passed, the inevitable challenge in the Courts, and arguments con and pro, but especially pro. The State can't justify this "interest in progeny" bull-roar. So what's the reason? I'd like to know. And I'll bet I don't like the answer. But I'd be willing to pass this stupid challenge to find out. Goodness knows, I'm already paying heightened ferry-rates due to stupid initiatives, and I'd really like to hear The State squirm out of this one. Because if it's not for the kids, who is it for? Because they don't like collecting fees for marriage licenses (ho, ho)? I'd like to know the real truth.
Because there's "Truth." And then there's "Belief." And the two are separate, I believe.
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2. I've been hearing this word a lot lately: "incentivize"
And it irritates me. Yes, it's in the dictionary! Yes, it has been used by politicians as well, I'm sure, in polite conversation. But ye gods, it sounds like a cheap bastardization of a word. And as the word has the term or origin "Americanism" it very well may be.
Nothing could provide incentive enough for me to use it.
A story from my first day working at Microsoft: I got into an argument with another temper who said he was going to "evangelize" his project. I gave him a look. "Are you sure you want to use that word?" I asked. "There's nothing evangelical about software." He hit the roof. "I've been using that word for years!!!" was his reasoning. Mine would have been "Then you've been WRONG for years!!, Mr. Stupid!" but, as I said, it was my first day.
The guy was an ass. And a "Master of the Universe." Which is a fine segue to...
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3. It's nice working at "The Ranch." If anybody wants to see harmony across ethnic lines and faiths, that's the place to see it. Everyone gets along, united in Our Common Goal--the Great Task of providing more and more complicated software to screw up everybody's lives.
But there's the occasional "Master of the Universe." No, not the He-man version, the Tom Wolfe version. Those with the sense of self-importance and entitlement that is just a couple steps from The Big Let-Down, or a trip to the booby-hatch.
Example: I parked next to a van the other day, and was startled to see a baby bundled up in a car-seat in the otherwise-empty van. I looked closer. Baby didn't move. That's because Baby was plastic.
So, someone went to the expense of buying a car-seat, baby-clothes and an all-too-real baby-doll to do what, do you suppose?
My answer: In order to use the " at least two people" HOV lanes without being pulled over. All that expense to avoid a ticket that is what...how much? And something that can be avoided just by, oh...not using the HOV lanes illegally?.
How "nuts" is that? But evidently it's important enough to allow a MOTU to cruise the HOV's at his/her leisure.
Barmy, you ask me.
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4. "Purity Ball." Concept's a bit creepy. And at my first wicked thought, a contradiction in terms. Couldn't someone have come up with a better title?
Yeesh!
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5. They're raising funds for a statue of every (old) Seattle kid's favorite TV-clown J.P.Patches to be erected in Fremont, land of the other odd art-projects (see below). Now, if only they were to place it in front of what passes for the City Dump (The Fremont Waste-Station) I would be moved to contribute. J.P. was the Mayor of the City-Dump, after all. And I spent a great deal of my youth watching him and his eccentric (and anarchic) in-studio pals--part of the inspiration for the sound-work I did on "Bill Nye the Science Guy."
Hey, he could floor-direct the construction....
Which reminds me of a story of when I worked at KIRO. The lobby was decorated with very large color photos of the KIRO personalities...except for J.P. J.P.'s picture (not too dissimilar from the one above) hung just inside the entrance way once you got past the security door. Guess J.P. didn't rate as highly as the "Eyewitness News" Team. One day, one of my "radio heroes," Robert O. Smith stopped by to do a voice-over. I escorted him from the lobby into the building. He stopped at the J.P. picture, leaned over and yelled into its open mouth "Yeah, I'll take a Moby-Jack to GO!"
Laugh? Thought I'd die.
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6. "The Bug"
Walaka noticed it immediately, last time I visited, but then everybody notices--they just don't mention it. For a while I fooled myself into thinking that women were looking at me, but no, what had their attention was "The Bug" perched atop my Cinerama hat. "The Bug" was a Christmas gift from my sister-in-law, Jane-Marie and has come in very handy out on the Island where electric lights don't shine too much by the Cabin, and in the dark wire troughs of computer-bays when switching out wires and cables.
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7. And finally, this story broke my heart. Best of luck to the most liberal regular at the Two Bells.
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