Intermission

It's Cartoon-Time, Kids!!*

"Sunny" Day sent me this and I laughed so hard (and K laughed so hard) that I am compelled to share, despite the fact that I can't embed the damn thing. No, you have to go to all the trouble of clicking on a link.

Rest assured, you are going to a safe site (it's Yahoo!®Video), but this is the only place I've been able to find this cartoon.

It's worth it, though.

Joy of Cat

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*Of course, that line comes from every kid's show ever transmitted through a photon tube, but the guy I remember saying it the most was Chris Wedes, aka "J.P. Patches." Today the Mayor of Seattle declared November 5th "J.P. Patches Day," which hardly seems like enough. The man would pull down 2 shows a day and one on the week-end and then go out and open every single grocery store in the Puget Sound region. To read more about the self-proclaimed "Mayor of the City Dump," click on the "City Dump" link over there on the right, and enter the peculiar (and mostly ad-libbed) world of J.P. It's an understatement to say he had an influence on my life and career. Here's a check-list that I still have from J.P.'s show:

Jetsam!!!

We've done Flotsam. Here's Jetsam.

Customer Relations--A Study in Contrasts

The Good Example: Over the weekend while K. was gone, I was taking the near-occasion to walk the dog when we got into my car and discovered that it wouldn't start (I was driving). Well, I tried to compression-start it to no avail, so we (the dog and I) decided to walk down to the beach (he was driving). Anyway, no juice in the car. It could be one of a couple of things: dead battery (not uncommon when the weather turns chilly), or a bad something-or-other, either the ignition, or the distributor. In any case, I was not going to move forward with at least a jump. But I really didn't have anyplace to go, so I let it set. K. was coming home Monday morning. Not a big deal.

K. came back, we hooked up the jumper cables--and "Lookit, Igor!" it came alive, ALIVE!! But the next morning, not so much. So after another boost, I took it in to Les Schwab--known around these parts as the very model of a modern Better Business. I left the house at 10, and I was going to be doing chores in town all day, but let me just start by saying I was on the 11 am ferry. So I left my house at 10. It takes 20 minutes to get to Les Schwab. I was ON the 11 o'clock ferry.

What transpired? I went inside, explained the problem, they gave me dollar options and then went to work. They were done within a half-hour. As I was paying I mentioned to the mechanic, "Now I just hope it's not the generator or distributor acting up.." "Oh, we checked those," he said. "You're good to go."

He CHECKED all that. I was GOOD to GO.

And, indeed, I was. But, I had to tell him my admiration for the Schwab shops by telling him of this story, to which he laughed and just said, "It's what we do..."

And exceptionally well. Next stop:

The Bad Example: My first stop was to get the pads of my eyeglasses fixed. The one pressing against the right side of my nose had cracked and split off, causing my some irritation, so I thought that that was the day to get it fixed. I went to the Group Health "See Center" on the Eastside. They were up on the third floor of the building, so I went into the Office, and was promptly beckoned to a cashier. What was I there for? "I just need to replace the pads on my eye-glasses. You can do it here, or I'll just buy the pads and do it at home." Fine. My name? I told her. I have a common name, so I had to do the standard wait while they find which of the "me's" is actually "me." What's my address? Not there. What's my phone? Not there? Any previous address? Not there. How about my birth-day? Not there, either. This went on for 10 minutes. "Well, I can't find you in our data base, so we'll just have to start a new account. Name?" You've got my name. You've got my phone number, my birthdate, and my last two addresses. I could've applied for a job by now. Do we really have to start a new account? "Well, we need it for payment purposes." I'm going to be paying CASH. "It doesn't matter. We still need a record for..." No, you don't. I don't want to start a new account. I'll go someplace else. "Well, if that's what you want to do..." Thanks, I lied. And I left.

Bad Group Health. Very bad.
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I don't give two hoots about sports (though I did cast an eye towards the World Series results), especially College Football, but this caught my eye. Like I said, I don't like c-football, but I do like chaos, and I understand that when a play is made, it takes equal parts planning and luck, and something like a miracle for a complicated play to be completed.

But, this? This is insane. This is a play being made on the edge of a razor blade for a staggering minute and a half, when at ANY TIME, something could and probably SHOULD have gone wrong. But it's been that kind of crazy year for football.

Here's the last play--Trinity College and Milsap. :02 on the clock. Amazing. In fact, legendary.

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So, what's up with you, anyway?

Well, this year I decided that I wasn't going to buy Hallowe'en candy. We (I) always buy too much, and it just sits around the house calling our name, because for the past five years or so, we've always lived in "the spooky house." The house with very few lights. The house that's difficult to get to. Whatever the reason (Hmmm. Maybe it's the ferocious barking of a certain Hound from Hell*), we don't get a lot of kids for Hallowe'en. None, precisely. So no candy shopping this year.

K. went off to her "Smoking Cessation" class (She's doing EXCELLENT, by the way). Before she went, we discussed the Hallowe'en situation. "Do we have anything to give 'em?" No. I've got some Toll-House cookies baked, but parents will be concerned about razor blades and stuff like that. "Well, I don't know..." I could give 'em some of that nicotine gum you don't like.... I thought that was an inspired plan, but K. said you weren't supposed to give nicotine gum to kids, so that put the ki-bosh on that. I guess we would have to contend with T-P in our trees, if any pint-sized pirates and princesses showed up at our door.

But they didn't. Saved by the lack of a bell. K. came home, I put together dinner and sat down to watch our Hallowe'en movie, "The Innocents," starring the recently late Deborah Kerr. It's a great little hysterical romp of a movie with a sound-design track I've always liked, and some images that have always stuck in my head. But it was made even more spooky, when all of a sudden...the lights went out, and the DVD went dead, and the stereo quit.

Not so much scary as disappointing. The outlets on one wall of our house went dead for some reason. So, we plugged everything into a surge-protector and plugged it into a wall-socket in the bedroom. We resumed the movie, but we kept furtively glancing at the wall-sockets to see if their might be melting or erupting in flame. Anyway, it made for an interesting Hallowe'en!
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Tying it up in a Nice Thematic Bow

Remember the storm we had October 18th? 50+ MPH winds, and all? I was in Portland. But if you were taking a ferry from The Rock to The Mainland, it might have looked like this:











This is the ferry Cathlamet making its way to the Mainland. I've taken this ferry on rides similar to this, but I've never seen this happen:

Now, that is a big, hurkin' wave splashing up and over (and through) the car-deck, completely drenching, and no doubt re-arranging the cars positioned there. The usual procedure is to put motorcycles on the front lip of the car-deck, so that they can egress first--that is, egress once they've docked. I think this time egression was a bit premature.

Which brings us back to "Jetsam." According to dictionary.com, "Jetsam applies to cargo or equipment thrown overboard from a ship in distress."**

Though I doubt the Cathlamet (or is it the Klickitat--I'm not really sure) is not in REAL distress, it would sure seem like it to someone on board. I'm hoping nothing was thrown overboard, but that is one scary looking "hit." One more reason to someday get off "The Rock."


* Ya know what I'd like to see? A "dripping blood" font. That would be ever-so-handy for Hallowe'en, Horror movie invites, James Bond film festivals, Stigmata conventions....

** And "flotsam" is the floating debris from a wrecked ship. You can have jetsam without flotsam, but you can't have flotsam without jetsam.
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Bumper-sticker of the day: "Boys Lie"
Song in me head: "Yes It Is" by The Beatles
Oh, and Happy Birthday, Ev'!

Feeding Frenzy

This has, I am told, been happening every day. Usually in the morning, or near sunset, the madrona in our yard is beset by swarms of birds diving into the tree and swooping out, several at a time, and in all manner of variety (although anything crow-sized or larger stays away). The reason: the berries in the madrona are fermenting, and the birds are getting their fill and then (s)tumbling, drunk as a city council candidate, back to their nests, to work off the hang-over.

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Song in me head: "I Am the Walrus" (Googoogajoob): "See what taking acid does for you?" says K.

"Another Week"

"Where've YOU been?"

Well, obviously, I've been seeing a lot of movies--good, bad, and ugly. That's been on top of working every day on some audio project or another--two weeks of foley in the evening for one film and one video, doing some audio work for "The Agents" (one a documentary on an earlier project, if anybody doubts the value of meta to real life situations), some freelance stuff (more than ever!) for an old client. I'm trying to fill my days, so I don't have to spend a lot of time on "The Rock." I'm there to eat, sleep, and blog, but that's about it.

K and Smokey have been gone since a week ago Tuesday, and I was fully expecting them to come home this weekend to my open arms, but I got a phone call Thursday saying the project is taking longer--it's going to be another week.

"Another Week."

That phrase has been echoing in my mind ever since and has shoved any song out of my head (at the time it was "Spirit in the Sky"). Another Week. I miss them horribly, and think about them and worry about them and obsess over them. Poor K is having to work another week on this project--which will be draining and I know that at the end of the day, her eyes will be spinning in her head from looking at computer screens, and ledger entries. The dog has a support system down there, so he's fine and won't tax K (as he might me were he here). Still I miss them. And my recent spate of film-going (and the slew of video's from the library--see below for just the tip of the iceberg) has been a way of occupying and distracting me, and engaging my mind that raking leaves, chopping wood, recycling and cleaning gutters --or doing the dishes (gotta get to that) hasn't.

I went to see Dan "The Man" and his circus of cats for a visit this week, Friday The Nephew is in town, so with The Niece and Sister we all went out to a fine dinner of collegiality, and cracking each other up. Hopefully they'll come out to the Rock, but everybody's got schedules (Addendum: They came out Sunday for a very fun time--they're great kids). Saturday, I'm meeting up with FarmerScott just because we can and it's been too long...for any of the Gang of Four. More work for this, another week. I'll be busy, and more grateful than most for Friday to come around.

Here are some things to occupy your time:
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I mentioned a sad story a while back about Walt Crowley, which a lot of people mentioned made them very sad. Time to be sadder. A good man has passed.

http://blatherwatch.blogs.com/talk_radio/2007/09/walt-crowley-19.html#more
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003896470_webcrowley21m.html
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/332802_crowley20.html
http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/thebigblog/archives/122334.asp
http://historylink.org/This_week/index.cfm

Interesting to read the comments of John Carlson, who was there at his death-bed. Polar opposite politically, but good friends nonetheless. That's how to do it right.
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Marcel Marceau has died. Can we have a moment of cacophony? (Expect a flood of variations of that joke today).*

I don't know if the obits will mention this, but Marceau was the only person who had a line in Mel Brooks' "Silent Movie." After miming a minute of trying to rush to the phone in a wind-storm, he's asked by director Mel to be in his silent movie. Marceau says, "NON!" and hangs up.

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You want to see a man wrestling with his conscience on live tv? Here is San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders, Republican, forgoing the ideology and "going with his heart."

You can practically see the angel and devil on his shoulder wrestling. He's probably going to catch hell from "his base." I hope he finds new supporters. This took courage, and that's something you don't see too much in politicians (like last week's oh-so-"brave" condemnation of the moveon.org "General Betray-us" ad. There IS a war going on, ladies and gentlemen. Do something about that, instead. The ad isn't killing anybody).

Might be nice to send him an e-mail, a card...a couple bucks.
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Here's an article I found facinating from Newsweek--this fellow followed the dictates of the Bible for a year, and found some joy in it (although the stoning part he had to work around):


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20910659/site/newsweek/
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Tales from the Red Envelope

"Millions" (Danny Boyle, 2004) One of those ones I missed in the theater, and one I deeply regret. It's a little gem of a movie Boyle made between his zombie-film "28 Days Later" and this year's sci-fi film "Sunshine," about a saint-obsessed child who finds a large duffel-bag of pound notes, seemingly from heaven, in the days before the change-over to the Euro. His older brother uses it to gain influence in his new school quickly becoming BMOC (Dad, a recent widower, has just moved his family to a new development by the train-tracks), but Damian wants to give it to the poor. He is visited by numerous saints to guide him along on his spiritual quest (and quite perkily announces their names and birth to death dates and how they died at each arrival). It's a highly charming movie, while avoiding the usual cute kid cliches, and maintaining a quite sophisticated tone of drama and off-the-wall comedy. That was a trick even Disney found hard to pull off. It gets a very high recommendation from me. **

"The Notorious Bettie Page" (Mary Harron, 2006) If Marilyn Monroe was the blonde goddess of sex in the 1950's, Bettie Page was her player on the other side. Marilyn was blonde, Bettie, brunette. Where Marilyn had success in Hollywood, Bettie never got beyond stag reels. Where Marilyn's sexuality was paired with a psychic pain, Bettie was exuberant. Marilyn had booze and pills for sanctuary. Bettie had Jesus. Marilyn died fairly young. Bettie's still alive and kicking*** and getting royalties from the continuing interest in her, thanks to devotees such as artist Dave Stevens, who used her as the model for the girlfriend of "The Rocketeer." Both Marilyn and Bettie appeared as centerfolds within the first year of the publication of Playboy Magazine. And this has to be said--Marilyn had talent. Bettie... wasn't much of a dancer. Marilyn was the epitome of sex in Tinseltown, while Bettie worked in the squalid back-rooms of seamy pornographers, and panting "photo clubs."

Bettie's story mirrors Marilyn's: Pretty girl, growing up dirt-poor and abused, an early marriage that doesn't work out, and heading to the Big City to get into acting. There they diverge: Marilyn to fame and early death; Bettie to obscurity, long life and delayed fame. Bettie quit modeling in the 50's after she was hauled to DC to testify in Estes Kefauver's pornography hearings (she was never called in to the hearing room), and so both Marilyn and Bettie are frozen, existing in images of their prime.

Does Mary Harron's film explain Bettie Page and her circumstances and times? Not at all. The facts are laid out, stopping precisely at the hearings that ended Bettie's modeling days and goes no further. The closest it comes is her repeated defense for her nude modeling: "Well, I figure Adam and Eve were naked in the Garden of Eden." Point taken, but it doesn't explain the spike heels, whips, spanking and ball-gags (The real Bettie always dismissed her bondage photos as being "silly" and paying the bills). Considering that most people only know her through her looks, Gretchen Mol does an amazing impersonation, right down to a clumsy dance in the end credits, that has just the right touch of amateur clunkiness. In fact, it's downright eerie. Still, it's nice to see this story have a happy ending. I think Bettie would be pleased to know that the copy I watched was from the Public Library. If that's not vindication, I don't know what is.

"The High and the Mighty" (William Wellman, 1954) One of the few John Wayne pictures that he produced himself, and one of his best-known and respected films outside of his Westerns, I had never sat through "The High and the Mighty." Oh, I could whistle the vague Dimitri Tiomkin theme, but I'd never seen it. William Wellman was a no-nonsense director and flyer, who no doubt seized the opportunity to do a dramatic film about the then-tony luxury of flying transcontinentally, and turned it into one of the first "disaster" films involving flying (Hello, "Airport!"). Wayne's character was meant for an older Spencer Tracy, but after Tracy left the project, Wayne stepped in to take the role of the haunted co-pilot, who has to fight his past and the demons of his pilot (Robert Stack) to "get this baby on the ground." With an international cast of passengers, all with stories to tell, it's a bit like "Grand Hotel" in the sky with its engines on fire (or "Stagecoach"). The emphasis is on character as there's only so much rollickin' Wayne can do in a plane cabin, though there is an over-the top scene where Wayne decks his pilot to keep him from ditching the plane in the drink...with his hands on the controls! It's also a bit dated in the need to explain every little detail about "plane travel," but not at all in how, at that early stage before rolling luggage, airline personnel were still griping about the passengers.



"Bananas" (Woody Allen, 1971) One of "his earlier, funnier ones," as he so famously spoofed them in "Stardust Memories." It is early, and Howard Cosell giving play-by-play on a military coup contains a movie full of belly-laughs. But I'm not so sure you could call it a film, so much as a collection of black-out sketches tied together with a burrito-thin junta-based plot. Yes, you can see early roles of Conrad Bain and Sylvester Stallone. And Allen's comedy still had that nasty streak of bad-taste sexual humor (in a porn shop that also carries "The National Review," he tells the counter-guy he's "doing a sociological study on perversion. I'm up to Advanced Child Molesting"), and his performances were like Harold Lloyd on benzedrine. It sometimes hard to tell if the Woodman is performing or going into a sneezing fit. But a lot of the ideas are choice: the dream of the two guys being carried on crucifixes...until a fight breaks out for a lone, remaining parking space, the commercial for "New Testament" cigarettes (Priest: "I smoke them. He smokes them."), the helpful instructions Allen gives to a person trying to park, and the line "If you're gonna fool around with women's lib, you're gonna need somebody to support you."

* Okay, how about this one: France is giving him a 21-gun salute--with silencers.

** Dan "The Man" told me a funny story about Danny Boyle at our last visit. He went to see a preview of "Millions" and there was a Q & A with Boyle afterwards. After the obligatory three questions about video cameras from techies and director-wannabes, Dan stood up and asked, "Mr. Boyle, as a recovering Catholic, do you have a love-hate relationship with your success, and do you feel redeemed?" This question so flummoxed Boyle that he couldn't answer and couldn't focus on anything else, ending the Q & A. I would liked to have heard the answer, frankly.

*** Bettie has been publicly reluctant to be photographed, preferring that people remember how she looked "in her prime." Still, an Image search for "Bettie Page" will reveal rare recent photos of her, and she looks GREAT! The woman's over 80!
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Finally as a way of signing off, here is a video of Smokey saying "Hello, I must be going." (Thought I'd better use this "widget" before the novelty wore off).

Compassionate Conservatism at Work

I remember seeing a "60 Minutes" interview with one of Bush's ("That's President Bush," says Sam Seaborn) "minders" who quit to "go back to Texas" and was out shilling her book. The subject of "Compassionate Conservatism" came up. Great phrase, that. Made people think "how bad can he be?"* The origin of that phrase came when she asked "W" how he wanted to be seen. His reply was telling: "A conservative with a heart."

As if conservatives don't have them.

Very telling.

And she changed it--no doubt realizing that--to "compassionate conservatism."

As if conservatism isn't.

Still, it obviously worked.

That's all I'm going to say. There's nothing more to say. I'll let the other things here tell the rest of the story (the video, which is no longer available on C-SPAN--hiss--runs about 20 minutes). But don't be surprised if you come away with a shade more regard for John Ashcroft. That's how bad this story is.

http://thinkprogress.org/comey-testimony/


http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2007/05/former_official.html

* It's certainly better than my phrase, which was "Put Dracula in Charge of the Blood-Bank!"

It's the Same Old Song--Howard Ashman V

The "I Want" Songs of Howard Ashman V

They're called the "I Want" Songs in musicals--those interludes where the protagonist declares their ambitions and desires...and basically announce what the ending of any self-respecting happy-ending musical is going to be. There's "The Impossible Dream" from "Man of LaMancha," for example. "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from "My Fair Lady." "Somewhere" from "West Side Story."

This week, I'm offering up the "I Want" Songs of Howard Ashman. Why? During my job search, I'm in an intense "I Want" mode, and Ashman's are the ones that stick in my head. They have a sophistication of language and tone while doing its duty advancing the plot. And they have attitude. Bags of attitude. In fact, Ashman's more-hip tone is one of the charms of his lyrics, though sometimes they can come across as harsh.

This one's a heart-breaker, so I saved it for last: it's also the last chronologically. All of the amazing fantasy work Ashman created for Disney was done with the sword of Damoclese over his head; he was dying from AIDS. In the last stages of the disease, while supervising the the finishing work on "Beauty and the Beast," he was writing for the next feature in the series, "Aladdin." "Aladdin" had no less a complicated history than the others, but with the dropping of one character, it necessitated the exclusion of its "I Want" song. At a late stage in the planning of the film, Animation Exec. Jeffrey Katzenburg asked that the creators streamline the plot by eliminating some extra characters. Specifically, Katzenberg wanted to lose Aladdin's mother, thus making Aladdin's character that of an independent, cocksure street-rat who must learn to be honest and truthful. With the loss of that character, "Proud of your Boy" in which Aladdin sings (rather bitterly) to his sleeping mother that someday he'll amount to something.

The changes requested by Katzenberg devastated the "Aladdin" crew because that one song was clearly the most important song of the score for Ashman, reflecting his own struggles with his family and their reaction to his homosexuality. But there was nothing to be done. By this time, Ashman had died. Tim Rice was brought in to oversee changes to the songs in the production. But the loss of "Proud of Your Boy" created a secondary tier of mourning--on the "Aladdin" DVD some of the interviewees choke up talking about it.* First they lost Ashman. Then they lost that poignant song.

"Aladdin," as a result, is no less entertaining, but it did lose a great deal of heart.

Here's "Proud of your Boy"

[Aladdin]
Proud of your boy
I'll make you proud of your boy
Believe me, bad as I've been, Ma
You're in for a pleasant surprise
I've wasted time
I've wasted me
So say I'm slow for my age
A late bloomer,
Okay, I agree...

That I've been one rotten kid
Some son, some pride and some joy
But I'll get over these lousin' up
Messin' up, screwin' up times
You'll see, Ma, now comes the better part
Someone's gonna make good
Cross his stupid heart
Make good and finally make you
Proud of your boy

Tell me that I've been a louse and loafer
You won't get a fight here, no ma'am
Say I'm a goldbrick, a goof-off, no good
But that couldn't be all that I am
Water flows under the bridge
Let it pass, let it go
There's no good reason that you should believe me
Not yet, I know, but

Someday and soon
I'll make you proud of your boy
Though I can't make myself taller
Or smarter or handsome or wise
I'll do my best, what else can I do ?
Since I wasn't born perfect like Dad or you
Mom, I will try to
Try hard to make you
Proud of your boy

It's the Same Old Song--Howard Ashman IV

The "I Want" Songs of Howard Ashman IV

They're called the "I Want" Songs in musicals--those interludes where the protagonist declares their ambitions and desires...and basically announce what the ending of any self-respecting happy-ending musical is going to be. There's "The Impossible Dream" from "Man of LaMancha," for example. "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from "My Fair Lady." "Somewhere" from "West Side Story."

This week, I'm offering up the "I Want" Songs of Howard Ashman. Why? During my job search, I'm in an intense "I Want" mode, and Ashman's are the ones that stick in my head. They have a sophistication of language and tone while doing its duty advancing the plot. And they have attitude. Bags of attitude. In fact, Ashman's more-hip tone is one of the charms of his lyrics, though sometimes they can come across as harsh.

This is a tough one to get through without a traffic cop or a map--it's the opening volley of "Beauty and the Beast," called "Belle," featurng scores of cast-members (most of whom show up for just a line or two) in the "quiet village" inhabited by the beauty of the title. The song pulls multiple duties, combining a look at the day-to-day routine of the town, the introduction of the heroine and her attitude towards that routine and her ambitions, the town-people's reactions to her, as well as the intoduction to the villain of the piece, and everybody's reaction to him!

It's a lot to wade through, but the miracle of the song is it works as story, as narrative and it's a damned good song doing its jobs efficiently, and entertainingly. It's no wonder that the production made a smooth transition to Broadway--more than any other of the Disney projects, "Beauty" has the veneer of some of the best Broadway musicals. For those of who want more than just the lyrics, you can proceed to Stage Right where there are videos Of Marginal Interest (they'll be a part of the Archive edition of this post, as well)

Here's "Belle" from "Beauty and the Beast."

[Belle:]

Little town
It's a quiet village
Ev'ry day
Like the one before
Little town
Full of little people
Waking up to say:

[Townsfolk:]

Bonjour!
Bonjour!
Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!

[Belle:]

There goes the baker with his tray, like always
The same old bread and rolls to sell
Ev'ry morning just the same
Since the morning that we came
To this poor provincial town

(speaking)

[Baker:] Good Morning, Belle!
[Belle:] 'Morning, Monsieur.
[Baker:] Where are you off to?
[Belle:] The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful story
about a beanstalk and an ogre and a -
[Baker:] That's nice. (Marie! The baguettes! Hurry up! )

(singing resumes)

[Townsfolk:]

Look there she goes that girl is strange, no question
Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?
Never part of any crowd
'Cause her head's up on some cloud
No denying she's a funny girl that Belle

[Man I:]

Bonjour
[Woman I:]

Good day
[Man I:]

How is your fam'ly?
[Woman II:]

Bonjour
[Man II:]

Good day
[Woman II:] How is your wife?
[Woman III:]

I need six eggs
[Man III:]

That's too expensive
[Belle:]

There must be more than this provincial life

(speaking)
[Bookseller:] Ah, Belle.
[Belle:] Good Morning. I've come to return the book I borrowed.
[Bookseller:] Finished already?
[Belle:] Oh, I couldn't put it down. Have you got anything new?
[Bookseller:] Ha Ha! Not since yesterday.
[Belle:] That's all right. I'll borrow . . . . . this one!
[Bookseller:] That one? But you've read it twice!
[Belle:] Well, it's my favorite! Far off places, daring swordfights,
magic spells, a prince in disguise -
[Bookseller:] If you like it all that much, it's yours!
[Belle:] But sir!
[Bookseller:] I insist.
[Belle:] Well, thank you. Thank you very much!

(singing resumes)

[Townsfolk:]

Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar
I wonder if she's feeling well
With a dreamy far-off look
And her nose stuck in a book
What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle

[Belle:]

Oh, isn't this amazing?
It's my fav'rite part because you'll see
Here's where she meets Prince Charming
But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three

[Woman:]

Now it's no wonder that her name means "beauty"
Her looks have got no parallel
[Shopkeeper:]

But behind that fair facade
I'm afraid she's rather odd
Very diff'rent from the rest of us
[Townsfolk:]

She's nothing like the rest of us
Yes, diff'rent from the rest of us is Belle

(speaking)

[LeFou:] Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Gaston! You're the greatest
hunter in the whole world!
[Gaston:] I know.
[LeFou:] No beast alive stands a chance against you. Ha ha ha! And
no girl, for that matter.
[Gaston:] It's true, LeFou. And I've got my sights set on that one.
[LeFou:] Hm! The inventor's daughter?
[Gaston:] She's the one - the lucky girl I'm going to marry.
[LeFou:] But she's -
[Gaston:] The most beautiful girl in town.
[LeFou:] I know, but -
[Gaston:] That makes her the best. And don't I deserve the best?
[LeFou:] Well, of course! I mean you do, but -

(singing resumes)

[Gaston:]

Right from the moment when I met her, saw her
I said she's gorgeous and I fell
Here in town there's only she
Who is beautiful as me
So I'm making plans to woo and marry Belle
[Bimbettes:]

Look there he goes
Isn't he dreamy?
Monsieur Gaston
Oh he's so cute
Be still my heart
I'm hardly breathing
He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute

(Gaston and Townspeople counter-point)

[Man I:]

Bonjour!
[Gaston:] Pardon
[Man II:] Good day
[Man III:] Mais oui!
[Matron:] You call this bacon?
[Woman I:] What lovely grapes!
[Man IV:] Some cheese
[Woman II:] Ten yards
[Man IV:] one pound
[Gaston:] 'scuse me!
[Cheese merchant:] I'll get the knife
[Gaston:] Please let me through!
[Woman I:] This bread -
[Man V:] Those fish -
[Woman I:] it's stale!
[Man V:] they smell!
[Baker:] Madame's mistaken.

[Belle:]

There must be more than this provincial life!

[Gaston:]

Just watch, I'm going to make Belle my wife!

[Townsfolk:]

Look there she goes a girl who's strange but special
A most peculiar mad'moiselle
It's a pity and a sin
She doesn't quite fit in
'Cause she really is a funny girl
A beauty but a funny girl
She really is a funny girl
That Belle

Reprise

(speaking)

[Belle:] Is he gone? Can you imagine? He asked me to marry him.
Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless . . .

(singing resumes)

"Madame Gaston!"
Can't you just see it?
"Madame Gaston!"
His "little wife"
No sir! Not me!
I guarantee it
I want much more than this provincial life
I want adventure in the great wide somewhere
I want it more than I can tell
And for once it might be grand
To have someone understand
I want so much more than they've got planned

It's the Same Old Song --Howard Ashman III

The "I Want" Songs of Howard Ashman III

They're called the "I Want" Songs in musicals--those interludes where the protagonist declares their ambitions and desires...and basically announce what the ending of any self-respecting happy-ending musical is going to be. There's "The Impossible Dream" from "Man of LaMancha," for example. "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from "My Fair Lady." "Somewhere" from "West Side Story."

This week, I'm offering up the "I Want" Songs of Howard Ashman. Why? During my job search, I'm in an intense "I Want" mode, and Ashman's are the ones that stick in my head. They have a sophistication of language and tone while doing its duty advancing the plot. And they have attitude. Bags of attitude. In fact, Ashman's more-hip tone is one of the charms of his lyrics, though sometimes they can come across as harsh.

This one's from Ashman's run doing (and revitalizing) Disney animated features. It's from "The Little Mermaid" and the heroine, Ariel, is in a cavern, looking at the collected haul from wrecked ships. But among the jewels and baubles the things she treasures most are those things she has no idea what they are--for she can only look from afar at the people on land, their strange customs and all the mysterious things that aren't available under the sea (Ashman has a lot of fun with Ariel being a fish out of water with certain terms of the bi-ped culture). And after a disagreement with her Sea-King father, she is convinced that the sea-grass is greener in that distant shore. For those of who want more than just the lyrics, you can proceed to Stage Right where there are videos Of Marginal Interest (they'll be a part of the Archive edition of this post, as well)

Here's "Part of That World."

[ARIEL]

Look at this stuff

Isn't it neat?

Wouldn't you think

my collection's complete?

Wouldn't you think I'm the girl

The girl who has ev'rything?

Look at this trove

Treasures untold

How many wonders

can one cavern hold?

Lookin' around here you'd think

(Sure) she's got everything

I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty

I've got whozits and whatzits galore

(You want thingamabobs?I got twenty)

But who cares?

No big deal

I want more

I wanna be where the people are

I wanna see

Wanna see 'em dancin'

Walkin' around on those

(Whad'ya call 'em?) oh - feet

Flippin' your fins you don't get too far

Legs are required for jumpin', dancin'

Strollin' along down a

(What's that word again?) street

Up where they walk

Up where they run

Up where they stay all day in the sun

Wanderin' free

Wish I could be

Part of that world

What would I give

If I could live

Out of these waters?

What would I pay

To spend a day

Warm on the sand?

Betcha on land

They understand

Bet they don't reprimand their daughters

Bright young women

Sick o' swimmin'

Ready to stand

I'm ready to know what the people know

Ask 'em my questions

And get some answers

What's a fire and why does it

(What's the word?) burn?

When's it my turn?

Wouldn't I love

Love to explore that shore above?

Out of the sea

Wish I could be

Part of that world

It's the Same Old Song--Howard Ashman II

The "I Want" Songs of Howard Ashman II

They're called the "I Want" Songs in musicals--those interludes where the protagonist declares their ambitions and desires...and basically announce what the ending of any self-respecting happy-ending musical is going to be. There's "The Impossible Dream" from "Man of LaMancha," for example. "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from "My Fair Lady." "Somewhere" from "West Side Story."

This week, I'm offering up the "I Want" Songs of Howard Ashman. Why? During my job search, I'm in an intense "I Want" mode, and Ashman's are the ones that stick in my head. They have a sophistication of language and tone while doing its duty advancing the plot. And they have attitude. Bags of attitude. In fact, Ashman's more-hip tone is one of the charms of his lyrics, though sometimes they can come across as harsh.

Here's the other "I Want" song from "Little Shop of Horrors." It's Audrey's dream of an idyllic magazine-picture-perfect suburban life "somewhere that's green." If you've seen the musical on stage (but not the movie, however--*harumph*) you know that's exactly where she ends up. For those of who want more than just the lyrics, you can proceed to Stage Right where there are videos Of Marginal Interest (they'll be a part of the Archive edition of this post, as well)

Here's "Somewhere That's Green."

[Audrey]

I know Seymour's the greatest

But I'm dating a semi-sadist

So I got a black eye

And my arm's in a cast

Still, that Seymour's a cutie

Well, if not, he's got inner beauty

And I dream of a place

Where we could be together at last

A matchbox of our own

A fence of real chain link,

A grill out on the patio

Disposal in the sink

A washer and a dryer

and an ironing machine

In a tract house that we share

Somewhere that's green.

He rakes and trims the grass

He loves to mow and weed

I cook like Betty Crocker

And I look like Donna Reed

There's plastic on the furniture

To keep it neat and clean

In the Pine-Sol scented air

Somewhere that's green

Between our frozen dinner

And our bedtime, nine-fifteen

We snuggle watchin' Lucy

On our big, enormous twelve-inch screen

I'm his December Bride

He's Father, he Knows Best

Our kids watch Howdy Doody

As the sun sets in the west

A picture out of Better

Homes and Gardens magazine

Far from Skid Row

I dream we'll go

somewhere that's green.

It's the Same Old Song--Howard Ashman I

The "I Want" Songs of Howard Ashman I

They're called the "I Want" Songs in musicals--those interludes where the protagonist declares their ambitions and desires...and basically announce what the ending of any self-respecting happy-ending musical is going to be! There's "The Impossible Dream" from "Man of LaMancha," for example. "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from "My Fair Lady." "Somewhere" from "West Side Story."

For the next five days, I'm offering up the "I Want" Songs of Howard Ashman. Why? During my job search, I'm in an intense "I Want" mode, and Ashman's are the ones that stick in my head. They have a sophistication of language and tone while doing its duty advancing the plot. And they have attitude. Bags of attitude. In fact, Ashman's more-hip tone is one of the charms of his lyrics, though sometimes they can come across as harsh.

We start with two "I Want" songs from "Little Shop of Horrors." The first one, today's, is one of my favorite songs in a musical. It's the opening number, a complicated piece that includes the entire ensemble establishing time, place, condition and the wants of the two main characters. For those of who want more than just the lyrics, you can proceed to Stage Right where there are videos Of Marginal Interest (they'll be a part of the Archive edition of this post, as well)

This is "Skid Row."

[WOMAN]

Alarm goes off at seven

And you start uptown.

You put in your eight hours

For the powers that have always been.

Till it's five P.M.

[BUM 1]

Then You go

[COMPANY]

Downtown

Where the folks are broke.

Downtown

Where your life's a joke.

Downtown

When you buy your token,you go

Home to skid row.

[BUM 2]

Yes, you go

[COMPANY]

Downtown

Where the cabs don't stop

Downtown

Where the food is slop

Downtown

Where the hop-heads flop in the snow

Down on Skid Row

Uptown you cater to a million jerks.

Uptown you're messengers and mailroom clerks

Eating all your lunches at the hot dog carts.

The bosses take your money

And they break your hearts.

Uptown you cater to a million whores.

You disinfect terrazzo on their bathroom floors.

Your morning's tribulation, afternoon's a curse

And five o'clock is even worse

[BUM 3]

That's when you go

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[AUDREY]

Where the guys are drips.

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[AUDREY]

Where they rip your slips.

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[AUDREY]

Where relationships are no go.

[COMPANY and AUDREY]

Down on skid row

Down on skid row

Down on skid row

Down on skid row!

[SEYMOUR]

Poor!

All my life I've always been poor.

I keep asking God what I'm for,

and he tells me "Gee, I'm not sure.

Sweep that floor, kid."

Oh,

I started life as an orphan, a child of the street

Here on skid row.

He took me in, gave me shelter, a bed,

Crust of bread and a job

Treats me like dirt, calls me a slob,

Which I am.

So I live

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR]

That's your home address.Ya live

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR]

When your life's a mess.Ya live

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR]

Where depressions' jes' Status Quo.

[COMPANY]

Down on skid row

[SEYMOUR]

Someone show me a way to get outa here,

'cause I constantly pray I'll get outa here

Please, won't somebody say I'll get outa here

Someone gimme my shot or I'll rot here.

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR & AUDREY]

There's no rules for us.

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR & AUDREY]

'Cause it's dangerous.

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR & AUDREY]

Where the rainbow's jus a no-show

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR & AUDREY]

Where the sun don't shine

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR & AUDREY]

Past the bottom line

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR & AUDREY]

Go ask any wino, he'll know

I'll do I dunno what to get outa skid

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR & AUDREY]

But a hell of a lot to get outa skid

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR & AUDREY]

People tell me there's not a way outa skid

[COMPANY]

Downtown

[SEYMOUR & AUDREY]

But believe me I gotta get outa skid row!