A Blog (wasted) with Tom Lehrer I

Tom Lehrer is a math teacher at MIT and UC Santa Cruz and has garnered considerable fame (and a few hits in the mouth) for his song-writing talents. He put out a few records on his own label and became something of a cult--meaning of interest to neanderthals, degenerates and shut-ins with a low threshold of amusement. Best used as background music for opium dens, Mr. Lehrer's music displays a considerable lack of respect for the English language that rivals Sullivan, Sondheim and Ashman. For instance, take his lyrics for "We'll All Go Together When We Go" (please):

When you attend a funeral,
It is sad to think that sooner or'l
Later those you love will do the same for you.
And you may have thought it tragic,
Not to mention other adjec-
Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do.
(But don't you worry.)
No more ashes, no more sackcloth,
And an arm band made of black cloth
Will some day nevermore adorn a sleeve.
For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbors too,
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve.
And we will all go together when we go.
What a comforting fact that is to know.
Universal bereavement,
An inspiring achievement,
Yes, we will all go together when we go.
We will all go together when we go.
All suffused with an incandescent glow.
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance,
Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go.
Oh we will all fry together when we fry.
We'll be French fried potatoes by and by.
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotisserie,
Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.
Down by the old maelstrom,
There'll be a storm before the calm.
And we will all bake together when we bake.
There'll be nobody present at the wake.
With complete participation
In that grand incineration,
Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak.
Oh we will all char together when we char.
And let there be no moaning of the bar.
Just sing out a Te Deum
When you see that I.C.B.M.,
And the party will be come-as-you-are.
Oh, we will all burn together when we burn.
There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn.
When it's time for the fallout
And Saint Peter calls us all out,
We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn.
You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas.
Go directly, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollahs.
And we will all go together when we go.
Every Hottentot and every Eskimo.
When the air becomes uranious,
We will all go simultaneous.
Yes, we all will go together
When we all go together,
Yes we all will go together when we go.


Lehrer has also written such gems as "The Masochism Tango," "The Vatican Rag," "National Brotherhood Week," and (my favorite) "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park." Given such wholesome fare, of course, he was asked to write songs for "The Electric Company," 'way back in the 70's (when you could still get Morgan Freeman for less than a mil'). Asked about his work for "The Electric Company" he says: "They told me it would help kids read. I have yet to see any evidence that it worked." His sarcasm is a major influence on my writing style (using the term loosely). As the man rarely writes anything these days, this is some of his most recent work, this one exploring the "S-N" combination.